The Higher Mileage Road Trip Club
Hey everybody! I’m the the Conserver! You know…the one hit wonder! And today I’m gonna share with you and all your homeys sure fire ways to save your stash on long trips! That’s right! Kinda like “The Mile High Club” only better cuz we’re stoners! We could call it ”The High Miles Club” or maybe ”The HIGHER Mileage Club”! I’ve got it! The HIGHER Mileage Road Trip Club” because it has TWO meanings…we’re high while driving long ass miles and, most importantly, we are getting more highs for the miles!
So the question is? Do you really know how much you smoke a day? Really?! That’s imperative knowledge for road trippers because you need to ration your shit out! For instance, lets’ say the road trip is one week long with camping. You and your buds are heading to Joshua Tree. You need to analyze your supply and figure out precisely how much to bring. The Conserver knows EXACTLY how much she smokes a day…she has a pill box with capital letters for every day of the week with a tiny piece of nug for each day! And don’t bring all of your goods for God’s sake…you’ll be thankful you have that last bowl when you get home! Trust me, there’s nothing better than the “home at last” high after a Higher Mileage road trip!
And thank Jebus for those last four rest stops on your way home….where you sneak off with the one hitter and take a hit in the bathroom before heading back to your sober stoneys! Hey, no one was twisting their arms when they were rolling blunts on day 1, smoking bowl after bowl at the campfire…and scrapping resins by day 6! You tried to warn them and they just laughed off your neurosis. Look who’s laughing now! You are! Cuz you’re stoned!
So, remember on your next road trip, become a member of The Higher Mileage Club and conserve, conserve, conserve! That way, you won’t be the homey hatin’ on the homey who has the last hit on road marker 420!
See ya soon!
