Wetting Willy (and keeping the love alive)
Hey everybody…I’m the Conserver!…You know…the One Hit Wonder! And today I’m gonna teach you Conservation 101! That’s right! I’m gonna share with you and allyour home boys sure fire ways to conserve on the sweet sweet cheeba and thus conserve on the important greens…your money!
OK! Let’s say you’re in a pickle…the bud’s knowyou have the nug and it’s about time you pull a party “favor”. (I like to call this the “Fluff and Fill”)… You’re gonna pull out the smallest, tightest nug you can find and cut that shit up into a million little pieces. You’re gonna break that nug into so many pieces it’s gonna bloom like new love…and it’s gonna look a full ass bowl! So full your homey’s are going to think, “Damn! What the hell?! He’s actually gonna change his stingy ass ways?!” Then that bowl’s gonna burn out…literally that fast, as fast as the stoney thought, which will most likely be forgotten cuz we’re all truly stoney stoners. And then guess what time it is?….it’s time for someone else to pull out their nug and you’ve done the deed and you’re off the hook! Hopefully for another day, a week or until someone’s birthday party!
Another great tip to keep that fluffed up nug a float is to wet it down! That’s right! I don’t care if you have to salivate all over your fingertip and press it down into the pot or straight up lick the bowl, you want that weed to be WET! If your friends are turned off…so what! Who cares! Is there really any difference between sharing a bowl or sparking up someone else’s spit?! Probably not! And I for one am surely not gonna force anyone who’s offended by my bodily secretions to smoke the weed, that, my friends, is a personal issue…
Just remember! Preserve, moisture, conserve!
So until next week don’t hating on the homey who knows how to cut his shit right and can spit like Chuck Norris…cuz that’s me…and I’m the Conserver!
