The Conserver’s Blog

I was applying hair coloring on my first client today and suddenly got this whiff of pure ass shit.  At first I thought it could be me…maybe I had funky fingers from the joint I smoked right before work.  Or I thought maybe she had skipped the shower this morning…no biggy, but DAMN!  Second client comes in.  She had shattered her righthand wrist and it was set in a cast with like 100 pins.  Her friend had recently broke both of her wrists and we got on the topic of who would wipe our asses if that ever happened to us…

A few minutes later I notice another surge of shit stench and start to wonder if she is having difficulty wiping her own ass!  Throughout the entire appointment, I kept smelling shit and it was really freaking me out.  When she was getting ready to leave I gave her a big bear hug around the neck and that’s when I could really smell it! Whoa Baby!!  She leaves.  I’m kinda of freaked out…somebody needs to tell her!

Third client comes in.  I mix her color and start the highlight when my nose begins to itch.  Unable to use my digits, I had to use my upper wrist to rub my nose.  That’s when I noticed that the smell of shit was coming from MY forearm!  DAMN!  As I was saying ba-bye to my pup this morning, I must have brushed up against something that she rubbed in or something that was coming directly from her f’n anus!  All dog owners know that smell…it’s a cross between roadkill, grass and sour cream.  Or the smell of their breath after gromming a clogged anal gland…

In any case, I learned an important lesson…don’t judge the smell of others until you’re positive it’s not you.

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